-Emily Dickinson

Some of you friends have asked for details regarding what we’re up to now, most lately and specifically,  The Gong Experience.  Well, here goes.  Until fairly recently, my only experience with a gong was watching The Gong Show as a kid and the gong at The Golden Buddha Chinese restaurant, formerly on the east side of Detroit, long gone. As a kid I got to gong the gong when we went out to dinner there, always my restaurant choice for a birthday dinner, largely because of the gong.  This was, perhaps, a foreshadowing.

I have more recently been introduced to the singing of the gong during my introduction to Kundalini yoga.  The sound experience was unlike anything I have known and I found myself drawn to the opportunity to learn more. We spent 24 hours over the past two days in phase one of the class, The Gong and Self-Mastery.  We are a group of 15, many of us previously strangers to each other, quite diverse strangers, now a group of partners learning to flow together, to doubt, struggle, bask and play.  Here is a little about what it was like for me.

Let me be clear;  I am not a musician.  At all.  I loved to sing to my kids when I tucked them in at night.  They fell asleep very quickly.  There was a reason for that. My connection to music, beside enjoying it and admiring the ability of others to make it, was dance.  I danced classical ballet for many years, and enjoyed it greatly, except for when I didn’t.  Since the kids are now too big to stand on top of my feet and dance around the living room, well I haven’t danced much lately.  Anyway, this weekend I found myself in a class with some incredibly inspired and talented musicians, some of whom have even made beautiful CD’s of their performances with the gongs (yes, these people exist) and the rest, well maybe there was no one else as markedly unmusical as me, but I bet none of them had ever been to a birthday dinner at The Golden Buddha.

Our teacher, Sotantar Suraj has his own uniquely inspired manner of teaching “the way of the gong,” specifically using planetary gongs : gongs that are attuned in frequency to the frequency of the planets in our solar system.  There’s a mathematical formula for how these gongs are made, but since it is more advanced than the math necessary to balance my check book, I’ll leave it alone. Gong and Self-Mastery training involves more than learning how to technically play the instrument, but rather Sotantar guided us toward interfacing with the gong as a sacred entity, as a partner in the creation of healing energy vibration. As we also discovered, the gong serves as a mirror, reflecting back to us facets of our core, of our Devine nature, if we allow, if we are open to the discourse.  As we become clearer and more open, our own energy frequency increases and in turn we can affect an increase in the frequency of others, of the planet.  This is a good thing.  This is understood to be a healing thing.  This required some guts.

We all had our turns playing the gong alone in front of our team, followed by sharing our feelings about the experience and then receiving feedback from our teammates.  Our first experience was with the Sun gong, a massive 38″ energetic entity.  When I knelt in front of it I felt small, intimidated even.  But I did as I had been taught; I set an intention to be open, to step into the embrace, to have fun.  I knew that I was being encouraged to enter into the connection, to relax into it, trust, be with the flow, oh yeah, and to stay out of my head.  Right.  Somehow I managed to make my first connection, and then it happened, I began to dance.  I wasn’t thinking about proper technique, I wasn’t thinking about my teammates behind me, and although vaguely aware that there was VERY BIG sound coming  from my partner the gong, I was having a grand time.  My movements felt free and expansive, unselfconscious and really, really good. Somewhere in there, Sotantar gently took the mallet from me and holding it with an elegant looseness, placed my hand on his and we continued to play.  Suddenly I was back in my head and I thought, “I must have been doing something wrong.  Maybe I’m making too much noise.  Shit”.  But I continued to play until the hand on my shoulder told me that it was time to stop.  I turned to face my teammates, who I was surprised to see were still there, and when I opened my mouth to speak, I instead, cried.  I am not one to relish losing my composure in public; but I looked at the faces in front of me, at the other tears I saw, at one of the faces I love most in the world, and I said, “I have gone through much of my life trying not to make too much noise or to take up too much space.  I think I might be getting over that”.  And we laughed.  And they told me I made a joyful sound and that I danced.  And that I went big. And that it was a good thing.  I told Sotantar that when he took my hand I feared that I had done something wrong.  He told me that I had had “quite a grip” on the mallet and that he only wanted to show me that I could loosen.  I said, “Well I didn’t want it to get away from me”.  ”Uh huh”, he said.

Our journey continued into the following night, ending with us playing the much smaller Venus gong for eachother.  By the way, Christopher really rocked it out on Venus, who is rather notoriously difficult to play.  Uh huh. I, on the other hand, felt like I had when my children where young and danced standing on my feet.  I felt awkward, clumsy and ridiculously happy.  And then I laughed.

We ended the night noticing the different quality to the air, noticing a lightness of being. Together we had traveled somewhere marvelous.  Together we had created elevated, sacred and joyful sound.

Team 14, the beginning of the 14th team of its kind in the world, the first in the Midwestern United States, will continue to evolve.  Our intention is to continue to train and play together.  We’ll keep you posted on events and concerts, as will Team Christopher & Carol.  I hope you’ll join us in raising the vibration.  This has nothing to do with Chinese food.  This has to do with something else entirely.

“She let go…without a thought or word, she let go.  She let go of the fear.  She let go of the judgements.  She let go of  the opinions swarming around her head.  She let go of the committee of indecision within her.  She let go of all the “right”reasons.  Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.  She didn’t ask anyone for advice.  She didn’t read a book  on how to let go.  She just let go.  She let go of all the memories that held her back.  She let go of all the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.  She let go of the planning and all the calculations about how to do it just right.  In the space of letting go, she let it all be.  A small smile came over her face.  A light breeze blew through her.  And the sun and the moon shone forever more.”

-Ernest Holmes

“How are you tending the emerging story of your life?”  

We don’t “have” a story, rather our story  is a dynamic creation.  The spirit with which we author our story is, I believe, largely a function of  our intentional focus, and a large measure of courage.  Tending our stories well requires honesty and honesty requires clarity.  We must be willing to be awake to ourselves.  We must be willing to strip away the veil of illusion, the little lies we tell ourselves, if we are to welcome the mystery. We must be willing to step out into the light.  Even our most subtle ways of hiding must relax open if we are to unfold and step fully, powerfully into the living of a really good story.

-Henry James

And he put a glorious sound of love on.

He said, “Oh sweet swing’n flowers of the field.”

And they said, “Oh great singular song to beauty.”

And he said, “Stomp upon the terra.”  They did.

He said, “Lift your miracle the body”.  The body went up.

He said, “Lift your arms”.  The arms went up.

He said, “Higher”.  They went higher.

He said, “DIG INFINIY!”

And they dug it.

-Lord Buckley

I’m gonna make a point of doing some stomping tomorrow.  Happy Spring and wishes for bright new blessings upon you.

But, I had one more client.  ”Jim” is a particularly dear 60-something -ish man whose picture could very well be next to the definition of “good guy” or “salt of the earth”.  I see Jim every couple of months or so for energy work and we chat about  ”spirituality”.  Jim is a proud family man, husband, father, grandpa.  He has one of the strongest work ethics of anyone who I’ve  ever known.  He has practiced meditation daily for the past 12 years and earnestly does his homework.  He has avidly read works by many of the great spiritual teachers and has experienced many different types of healing modalities.  Jim has approached the development of his spirituality as he has approached much of his life,  with deep sincerity, devotion, and purity of intent.  Yesterday he told me that he felt “stuck” and disappointed in himself,  as if he has been failing in his attempt to develop his spiritual self.  He asked me to tell him about “enlightenment” and  perhaps to make some suggestions for what he might do to move toward that point.  A good book, perhaps?

The voice inside my head said something like, “Do I LOOK like someone who can tell you the way to enlightenment?  I feel barely capable of finding my way to the couch.  Good God Jim, I’m a shrink, not the Dalai Lama”.  Instead I said something like, “What might enlightenment look like to you, Jim?” I’m trained for this stuff, you know.  Jim spoke earnestly about the effort necessary to be fully present for every moment, to experience oneself as a part of the divine whole, to be in a constant place of balance and peace.  ”Wow”, I said.

I make no claim to understanding what is meant by, let alone being anywhere near, “enlightenment”.  But I think it might have something to do with being given the chance to see if we can stay awake.  Maybe it has something to do with how we are with each other, how we are with ourselves and the world when it’s hard.  Maybe this is what matters.  Maybe it has something to do with keeping our heart open and listening deeply, with having our voice strung with the notes of clarity, kindness and compassion.  Maybe it’s about being able to wait in the silent spaces, unafraid of the pause.   Maybe it’s about the practice of acceptance of what is, to love the other as they are, even as we strive for common ground, or not.  To be aware of any fear that could spark anger, before anger can do harm.  Maybe it has something to do with the intent to encircle ourselves and other with compassion and care.

Jim knows that I say a “prayer” before I start an energy treatment.  He asked if this time I would hold his hand as I said my prayer out loud.  It goes something like this,  ”Spirit, please know my intention to serve as a pure and open channel for the light and love of healing in the service of Jim’s greatest and highest good.  Allow that I may support his healing in whatever way healing means to him and nurture his remembering of who he really is”.  Jim added, “And please allow that I be open”.  By George, I think you’ve got it, Jim.  Thanks for the reminder.

what you do for a living.

I want to know

what you ache for

and if you dare to dream

of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me

how old you are.

I want to know

if you will risk

looking like a fool

for love

for your dream

for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me

what planets are

squaring your moon…

I want to know if you have touched

the center of your own sorrow

if you have been opened

by life’s betrayals

or have become shrivelled and closed

from fear of further pain.

I want to know

if you can sit with pain

mine or your own

without moving to hide it

or fade it

or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy

mine or your own

if you can dance with wildness

and let the ecstasy fill you

to the tips of your finger and toes

without cautioning us

to be careful

to be realistic

to remember the limitations

of being human.

It doesn’t interest me

if the story you are telling me

is true.

I want to know if you can

disappoint another

to be true to yourself.

If you can bear

the accusation of betrayal

and not betray your own soul.

If you can be faithless

and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty

even when it is not pretty

every day.

And if you can source your own life

from its presence.

I want to know

if you can live with failure

yours and mine

and still stand at the edge of the lake

and shout to the silver of the full moon,

“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me

to know where you live

or how much money you have.

I want to know if you can get up

after the night of grief and despair

weary and bruised to the bone

and do what needs to be done

to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me

who you know

or how you came to be here.

I want to know if you will stand

in the center of the fire

with me

and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me

where or what or with whom

you have studied.

I want to know

what sustains you

from the inside

when all else falls away.

I want to know

if you can be alone

with yourself

and if you truly like

the company you keep 

in the empty moments.”

-Oriah Mountain Dreaming, from The Invitation

(Thank you Lori Bella Lipton, for the reminder)

-Swami Vivekananda

It’s oftentimes difficult to feel this truth at our core. Yet we can not experience our personal power and cry victim at the same time. We can not be powerful and irresponsible at the same time. ‘Seems to me that the realization of our power necessitates the willingness to step up in the light of our own integrity and state with clarity of voice, “This is who I am. This is where I stand. This is what I want.” Of course we must first have given ourselves permission to ask the questions. How powerful do you want to be?

-”Wild” Bill Damoth

-James Taylor

No matter our path, the color or grain of our days, no matter the stitch in our side, the catch of breath, the wondering why, we awaken what has been sleeping,  free the heart, which beats most strong and true to the rhythm of Thank You.